


Must Love Dogs

by rosehallshadowsinger



Category: A Court of Thorns and Roses Series - Sarah J. Maas
Genre: Café, Coffee, Coffee Shops, Dogs, F/M, Fluff, Romantic Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-07
Updated: 2019-02-14
Packaged: 2019-10-23 03:35:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,017
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17675702
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rosehallshadowsinger/pseuds/rosehallshadowsinger
Summary: Azriel discovers Elain has a new male in her life ... who has shaggy hair and a wagging tail.





	1. Chapter 1

The little café was nestled between the sea and the edge of the Rainbow, tucked away in a quiet square just a few blocks from Azriel’s apartment. He may or may not have chosen his permanent residence in close proximity to the only shop in Velaris that imported coffee from the continent, a taste he’d acquired over his centuries of travel. 

After dawn training sessions with Cassian or Rhys at the House of Wind, he would clean up and head straight to the coffee shop. It was a rare pleasure he allowed himself and a routine he looked forward to, sitting in solitude as he combed through reports. Or the even more rare pleasure of reading a book. 

This was one of those mornings. Despite the day already promising to be stiflingly warm, Azriel chose to sit outdoors at his normal table. He took in the aroma of freshly ground roasted beans wafting from the café.

Most of the Inner Circle favored tea, especially his High Lady, but Azriel savored the black, bitter taste — to endless wry comments from Amren. He also savored the knowledge this was his own private retreat that no one else knew about. 

As Azriel tucked into a chair, gloriously built for wings, the waitress brought out his usual mug of coffee. With a nod of thanks, he stretched his legs and crossed his ankles, taking in the serenity of the quiet morning. 

But within moments of cracking open his novel — an epic tale of a Seraphim warrior that falls in love with a mortal woman who ends up saving _him_ — he heard a small ruckus.

He glanced up to see Elain walking a huge, shaggy dog. More accurately, he noted, the dog was walking her. Elain was all limbs in her still-new Fae body, the endless length of her legs a detail Azriel didn’t fail to notice. 

In fact, her toned calves were on full display in a shorter-than-usual sundress. Normally one for strict decorum, the heat must have won out over Elain’s propriety. Cut in a feminine style of the Night Court, the gossamer fabric draped off her curves perfectly. She had slowly begun wearing the fashions more and more, and he hoped it was a sign she was settling into her new life. Azriel couldn’t help but appreciate it suited her. Immensely.

His brothers teased him mercilessly over his budding infatuation with the middle Archeron sister. They commented how his shadows receded in her presence, and how he and Elain always seemed to find themselves seated next to one another at family meals. More than once Cassian waggled his eyebrows when he caught Azriel’s gaze lingering. And Rhys wasn’t above steering dinner conversations to Azriel’s accomplishments, making him flush with embarrassment and Elain giggle as she’d ask curious questions for more detail. But Azriel knew it came from a place of wanting to see him happy — something he’d never really thought possible for himself. Until he’d met her.

Azriel had wanted to give Elain time to adjust to all the changes that came with being Made so wasn’t sure how to broach courting her — if that was even something she’d want. Lucien spent all of his time in the mortal lands with a certain fiery queen, and Elain seemed genuinely happy for them. Yet still Azriel had kept a friendly distance other than whispered jokes at Rita’s or finding her in the kitchen or garden to say hello when he stopped by the town house. 

Thanks to an extended mission in Day, it had been several weeks since he’d last seen her. So Azriel couldn’t help but watch as Elain coaxed the giant dog over to a nearby vendor, pulled a few coins out of her pocket and bought an ice cream cone with several teetering scoops.

She sat on the edge of the fountain in the square and proceeded to share the quickly melting treat: one lick for her, one for the white and gray sheepdog. Elain laughed as the cone began to drip, and she gave a delighted scream when the dog chomped down and devoured the rest. Azriel moved a hand over his mouth to hide the smile he couldn’t keep from creeping across his face.

Elain looked so carefree it made his normally steady, if not dormant, heart thump in his chest. This laughing female had come so far from the hollowed shell she’d been just one year ago. He wondered if she knew the true strength of her ability to find joy again, to choose happiness when so many other choices had been stolen away.

As Elain stood to smooth out her dress, she dropped the leash and the sheepdog set off in a trot. Directly towards Azriel. The friendly giant stopped right in front of him and sat, shaggy hair covering his eyes. Azriel gave him a scratch behind his ear, observing with a grin the ice cream still on the dog’s wagging tongue.

“Azriel!” Elain said, jogging over to where he sat. “I didn’t realize you were back, but I’m glad to see Helion didn’t steal you away from us.” He raised an eyebrow in mocked incredulity in response to her impish smile.

“I see you’ve met Rufus,” she said proudly, gesturing to the mop of bushy hair.

“We’re acquainted,” Azriel said, giving the mutt a good-natured ruffle.

Elain shifted from one foot to the other and trailed a long finger over the corner of her mouth, suddenly looking shy. “I don’t normally eat ice cream for breakfast,” she said with a small, sheepish smile on her face. “It’s just so warm out, and Rufus really wanted some.”

“Oh, Rufus wanted ice cream, I see,” he teased. “Is he yours?” 

“He’s my new roommate. I just got my own place, not too far from here.”

“Congratulations.” Azriel noticed how the humidity pulled her hair into tighter curls, strands clinging to her neck in the muggy air. He cleared his throat and looked down to pet Rufus, much to the dog’s delight. 

“Nesta said I needed a guard dog for protection. And Feyre thought I should spend more time with males to get over Gra—,” she stopped herself. “... to move on. By the way, did you know that my sisters always know best?” she asked with a mischievous grin. “So here we are.”

Azriel felt his jaw twitching in an effort to hold back a smile. “I’m not sure Rufus is what either of them had in mind.”

She leaned down conspiratorially, and the shadowsinger worked to keep his observations in check. “As it turns out, _I_ know what’s best for me,” she said. “And I couldn’t be happier with my choice, could I, Mr. Rufus? No, I could not,” she added in a silly voice to the blissfully panting dog.

“How did the two of you meet?”

Elain sat on her heels to brush the hair from Rufus’s eyes. “I was helping a couple outside Velaris build a vegetable garden on their sheep farm. This floofy fellow just wasn’t made for shepherding, and I could relate to not quite feeling like you’re cut out for what you’re supposed to be.” Azriel’s heart lurched at the seer’s words. “We decided he’d be much more at home in the city with me, so we’re both finding our way. Together.”

“That’s really great, Elain.” He meant every word. “I live just a few blocks away,” Azriel said before he could stop himself. “Since you’re new in the neighborhood … maybe you could join me here sometime. If you’d want to,” he added hastily. 

“I’d like that,” she said, a genuine smile lighting up her face. 

“I’m, um, here most mornings when I’m not away,” he said, clasping his hands to give them something to do. 

She darted a glance at his novel, noting the departure from his usual reports. “I’ll let you get back to your book. By the way, Chapter 55 is a real doozy,” she added in a lowered voice. Azriel looked down at the novel and blinked, wondering what sort of book Nesta had recommended.

“We’ll see you … soon, then.” She bit her lip as she gave a small wave. Rufus bid Azriel goodbye in the form of a wet lick up his cheek. Elain let out a tinkling laugh that made his breath hitch. 

As the pair left the café, Azriel noticed a group of well-to-do High Fae males watching Elain pass. It wasn’t unusual for both males and females to admire the stunning beauty, yet she always seemed oblivious to their attentions.

One Fae was brave enough to venture a step forward. Azriel’s shadows overheard him saying a smooth hello and complimenting Elain’s dress. Before Azriel could consider intervening, Rufus bared his teeth and growled, forcing the males to stumble backwards. The dog took off in the opposite direction, with Elain trailing behind, a tumble of flowing curls and limbs. 

“Guard dog, indeed,” Azriel mused to himself as he took a sip of coffee and smugly returned to his book.   
. . . 

The next morning, Azriel sat back in his chair, resting his hands on his knees and speculating whether Elain’s interest in joining him had been a polite nicety. The swirling steam of his coffee matched his insides.

If he had seen any other member of the Inner Circle near the café, he would have slipped into the shadows for fear they’d know where to find him when he sought solace. So why did he invite Elain to join him? He was further gone than he’d even realized, eager to spend as much time with her as possible. But he doubted she’d take him up on his offer.

He was attempting to study a report — realizing he’d read the same page three times — when Elain rounded the corner with Rufus in tow at a bouncing gait. The dog caught sight of Azriel and began pulling his lead, urging Elain forward. Her face lit up in a blinding smile when she saw him, and Azriel felt heat coiling in his stomach.

“Good morning, Az,” she said as she settled into the seat beside him. He tried to avoid the knowing smile of the lilac-hued waitress, who was aware he always sat alone. 

Elain politely asked the server for a bowl of water for Rufus if it wasn’t too much trouble. “And for you?” the faerie asked.

Elain smiled and wrinkled her nose. “I don’t think I like coffee,” she admitted. “Do you have something sweet?”

“Maybe your jasmine tea with honey?” Azriel suggested to the waitress. She bobbed her head with a wink and set off inside. Azriel quickly looked down at his papers, wondering if Elain had noticed.

“You don’t like coffee?” he asked teasingly. “I don’t think we can be friends, Archeron.”

“It’s just so bitter,” she lamented with a little shudder.

“Amren implied it’s befitting of someone like me.”

“I don’t think _Amren_ is one to talk about drink preferences,” Elain said with a pointed look.

“On second thought, you might be all right.”

While he struggled to focus on his reports, Elain pulled a large sketchbook and charcoal pencil from her bag and began drawing. She thanked the faerie when she returned with the drinks, and they worked for a while in companionable silence. As much as he appreciated their ability to simply enjoy each other’s company, Azriel didn’t want to let the opportunity to get to know her better slip by.

“So,” he said, finally breaking their quiet work, “what made you decide to move?”

Elain looked thoughtful for a moment. “Feyre and I were walking one day and came across a little bungalow that needed work but had so much potential. I hadn’t really considered how much I needed space for myself until that moment, so I decided to use a bit of the inheritance my father left us. I might be sanding floors and painting walls for the rest of my immortality, but it’s nice to work hard for something.”

Azriel could read the meaning between her words. Elain had once mentioned feeling guilty for her selfishness growing up, even though she’d been a motherless child herself.

“I know Feyre and Rhys just finished the riverside estate, which is exquisite. I’m sure I’ll spend lots of time there especially once there are nieces and nephews running around. Or likely flying,” she added with a laugh. Then she grew quiet and wrapped her graceful fingers around her teacup. “I just felt like I needed a place of my own. This has been the hardest year of my life, but I— I’ve learned a lot about myself. That I’m capable of being strong and independent.”

Azriel truly saw her in that moment, realizing how the shy seer plagued by visions had blossomed into this fierce female before him. He saw someone who had been thrust into an unknown future but wanted to take control of her own destiny.

Elain tittered in his silence. “I’m sorry, I suppose I was rambling! I always feel comfortable around you, Az … like I can be myself.”

“I don’t mind at all, Elain,” he said. “I like being around you.” Rufus, who was nestled at Azriel’s feet, gave a deep sigh in his sleep and continued to contentedly snooze.

Azriel nodded his head toward her sketchbook. “Is our High Lady not the only Archeron artist?”

“I’m working on some plans to show her and Rhys. I once told Feyre the world needs more gardens, so that little seed bloomed into my dream.” She nudged the sketchbook over so Azriel could see the detailed architectural plans for a park complete with fountains, winding paths, a beautiful glass gazebo and endless flowers. He was speechless.

“I’d like to help design green spaces across the court where people can go to just _be_. That seems like a good way to help the city rebuild after the war and people to heal. I felt so lost when I first got here and was swept up in my own problems for too long. But I’d like to contribute in some small way,” she said.

“Elain … this is …” A smile slowly stretched across his face. “This is amazing. You’re really something.”

Elain’s cheeks grew rosy, and she glowed at the compliment. “And there will of course be lots of space for goofy dogs like you to run around in,” she added, turning her attention to Rufus, who was rustling awake from his nap. The sheepdog yawned in response.

“I suppose we ought to be going,” Elain said. “I promised Nesta she could help me pick out new fabric for a lovely antique sofa I found so that I have _proper_ furniture.” She gave a small smirk that he loved.

Azriel left payment and a generous tip on the table as he always did. They collected their things and slowly made their way to the square, stopping just in front of the fountain. Rufus tugged on his leash as he followed a butterfly lazily weaving about.

“Well,” she said when it was time to go their separate ways, looking up at him with her caramel-colored eyes.

While normally reserved, Azriel found himself at more of a loss for words than usual. “I could … help you with any house projects you need,” he managed to get out. “I’m pretty mean with a paintbrush.”

“That would be really nice, Az,” she said, her arm twisting behind her as Rufus followed the insect’s weaving flight. She was so close, he hoped she couldn’t feel his heart stammering.

“Despite what he says, Rhys isn’t exactly handy.” He felt Rufus’s wagging tail swat his leg as he passed behind Azriel in his pursuit. “I’d feel much better knowing he wasn’t too involved in any renovation projects.”

She stifled a giggle. “Good to know.”

His pulse was racing. _For the gods’s sake, keep it together._

Just as she opened her mouth to say something more, Rufus lunged at the butterfly — pulling the leash he’d slowly been wrapping around Azriel and Elain taut. Her eyes grew wide at the sudden loss of balance, and she flung her arms around his shoulders to catch herself. Azriel had be so enamored with Elain, he hadn’t realized they were being roped together — quite literally.

Still in a tangle of arms and legs that he wasn’t quite ready to extricate himself from, Azriel felt Elain’s fingers brush the hair at the back of his neck. She glanced up at him through her eyelashes with a shy smile. “Same time tomorrow?” 


	2. Chapter 2

It was a perfectly crisp fall day. The trees had changed to brilliant shades of red and orange, and dried leaves crunched beneath her fawn-colored suede boots. Normally this time of year made Elain melancholy, as plants retreated for the winter with shorter days and colder nights on their way. But she couldn’t feel anything but lighthearted and hopeful for new beginnings.

Elain bit back a smile as she remembered when she’d stumbled across the café that hot summer day months ago. To the first time she and Azriel enjoyed each other’s company in what had become their spot.

Elain found herself daydreaming more and more about Azriel. Their mornings at the coffee shop were her favorite part of the day. Sometimes they’d discuss a particularly interesting passage in his book, or he’d listen to her landscape design ideas and weigh in with suggestions. Elain tried to keep her heartbeat in check when he’d lean across her to point out things in her sketchbook. She would catch herself stealing glances when he was engrossed in his reports. Or keep her hand on the table so it might brush his as he reached for his mug. 

Just last week, they’d been doubled over in laughter watching Rufus chase a pack of pigeons who simply weren’t having any of his antics. As their mirth was fading into burbling chuckles, he'd grabbed her hand and held it in his. They’d stayed that way until it was time to go. 

Elain and Azriel had begun spending more time together outside the café, as well. He’d made good on his offer and spent his spare moments sanding, hammering and painting with her at her cottage despite her protestations.

She wanted to find a way to repay his kindness — _and_ to repay his sneak attack several weeks ago that had her screaming in delight as he chased her with a paintbrush. She recalled when he’d finally caught her, time froze. She could still remember the dazzling smile on his face that only seemed to come out when it was just the two of them. Lost in his gaze, Elain had lowered her paintbrush as she stared into his eyes, and a small drip fell to the floor. She hadn’t noticed it until days later but decided to leave the imperfection as a reminder of that perfect moment.

Azriel had unexpectedly become her best friend, someone she could trust with her dreams and fears and secrets. She was growing to love the person she was becoming under his gentleness and encouragement. She was growing to love  _him_. Elain hoped she wasn’t the only one whose feelings were changing. 

She’d started taking more care in getting dressed, spending extra effort to make sure her hair was just so and to apply a bit of color to her lips and cheeks. She wore her softest cream sweater and fitted leggings she’d borrowed from Feyre. She hoped Azriel didn’t notice the extra effort — while at the same time hoped he did.

But when Elain turned the corner, her face fell as she found their usual table for two vacant. She scanned the outdoor tables and realized with the chill in the air he probably moved inside. She peeked through the café window to look for him, but the faerie waitress gave a small shake of her head. Elain returned her gesture with a wave and forced smile, hoping her disappointment wasn’t too plain to read. 

She was almost sure Azriel wasn’t on a mission. Maybe he didn’t look forward to their mornings together nearly as much as she did so wouldn’t think it a big deal if he had other things to do. 

Before she could ponder it further, Rufus bolted, and it was all Elain could do to keep hold of his leash. Hot on the trail of something, the bounding dog pulled her along, winding through gradually narrowing cobblestone streets as she struggled to keep up. Elain felt a wave of relief as they finally stopped at the end of a quiet street of brick rowhouses. But then he began pawing on the last door in earnest. 

“Rufus, you daffy dog,” Elain said in an out-of-breath but scolding whisper. She hoped not to make a scene as his whining grew increasingly louder. “What in Prythian are you doing?!” 

She crouched down and took hold of his face to get his attention, not noticing the door had swung open until she heard, “Ellie?” Rufus broke free and trotted over to the door, happily swishing his tail. 

Elain instantly recognized the voice and looked up in mortification, realizing they’d intruded on Azriel’s private residence. He bent down to scratch behind Rufus’ ear, wearing an oversized wool sweater and training shorts. His hair was slightly mussed, and he had a day of stubble — so unusual for the normally immaculately groomed male.

“Is everything okay, Elain?” he asked, which actually sounded closer to “Elaid.”

It was only then she noticed his slightly red eyes behind a pair of golden wireframe glasses she’d not seen him wear before. Azriel had never looked more unguarded or young — or handsome. 

She gave a quick shake of her head to clear her thoughts. “Az, I’m so sorry for barging in on you like this! We’d gone to the café, but you weren’t there. I was just wondering where you might be when Rufus,” she gave the dog a reproachful side eye, “shot off and led us here. He must have tracked your scent. Gods, I’m so embarrassed,” she said as she gave a small cringe.

“No,  _I’m_ sorry, El. I must have overslept and missed our coffee date.”

Her heart leapt at the word _date_. “Are you not feeling well?” 

Azriel then looked slightly embarrassed himself. “I’m going to let you in on a secret,” he said, rubbing a hand on the back of his neck. “The fearsome spymaster of the Night Court, a seven-Siphoned Illyrian warrior ... has terrible allergies.” He huffed a laugh that turned into a cough he tried to suppress. 

“Oh, you poor thing!” she exclaimed, taking a step towards him and reaching a hand out to touch his arm until she stopped herself. “Why didn’t you say anything?”

Azriel stood as Rufus began sniffing the ground near the threshold. “They get especially bad this time of year, but I guess I’ve always suffered through them in silence. This may surprise you, but Cassian isn’t that great of a nurse.”

She gave a small laugh, but her heart squeezed at the thought of no one taking care of him. 

Before she could say anything, a tiny black cat marched out of the open doorway and wove between Azriel’s ankles. Rufus could barely contain his excitement, his tail furiously wagging.

A smile crept across Elain’s face as a blush stained Azriel’s. “I didn’t know you have a cat,” she said, scooping the furry bundle into her arms.

“I don’t, she just comes around,” he said, crossing his arms. “It’s freezing out here. Do you want to come in?”

Still holding the purring cat, Elain followed Azriel inside and closed the door as Rufus followed behind. She thrilled at being invited into his home, which she knew other members of the Inner Circle had never seen. She tried not to gawk at her surroundings and looked down at the teeny feline.

“Do you feed her?” The cat batted at Elain’s curls.

“Yes.”

“Do you have someone who looks in on her when you’re away?” she asked with a smirk.

“Nuala,” he said begrudgingly. 

“Does she have a name?”

Elain waited.

“Wisp,” he muttered. 

Her eyes crinkled from her smile. “Az, you have a cat.” 

He sunk onto the couch, and Elain sat down on the other end. Wisp stretched and walked over to Azriel, curling up on his lap. He raised an eyebrow and gave Elain a look that said, _This doesn’t leave this room_ _._

With mirth in her eyes, Elain locked an invisible key at the edge of her lips and tossed it behind her.

“So, what does a spymaster do when he takes a sick day? Polish weapons? Plot world domination? Knit?”

The corner of Azriel’s mouth curled upwards. “I’ve been trying to get through some reports,” he gestured to the papers on the low-set coffee table, “but it hasn’t been much use.” 

“You know I was teasing about staying busy, Az. You should really be resting. When was the last time you ate?”

He looked sheepish and admitted, “I got back from a mission late last night and haven’t gone to the Palaces yet. But I’m sure I’ll feel well enough to go out soon.”

Elain could see he was tired. “Would you please let me pop out and get you something to eat? I insist,” she added when she could see him starting to protest. 

With the small cat still nestled on his lap, Rufus ambled over to vie for attention and put his chin on Azriel’s leg. Elain tried not to stare at the toned, masculine thighs and calves normally hidden under leathers.

“Well, it appears I’m needed here,” he finally said resignedly in his midnight voice that was now slightly stuffed up. The sound of it still made her spine tingle. “Thanks, Ellie. That … means a lot.”

“Of course. That’s what friends are for.” She immediately cursed herself for the comment, hoping he wouldn’t think she _only_ wanted to be friends. “I’ll be back before you know it.”

. . .

Returning from her errands, Elain slipped through Azriel’s door. It had taken longer than she’d planned, but she’d wanted to pick up a few extra things for him while she was out.

She’d stopped by the bookstore to pick up some new arrivals, the Palaces to get groceries and then Madja’s for more headache powder. Elain’s heart fluttered at the memory of when she’d first gifted it to Azriel nearly a year before, around the time she first realized her feelings for him were growing into something the seer hadn’t seen coming. His sudden laugh — deep and joyous — had been a balm for her soul, and Elain knew in that moment she wanted to be around that sound as often as possible.

Next, Elain had gone to her house to scoop up some bags of herbal tea she made herself from her garden. And lastly, she’d visited Sevenda’s for a steaming pot of vegetable soup.

Trying not to make a sound, Elain slipped off her shoes and tiptoed with her bundles through the house toward the kitchen. But she stopped in her tracks, struck by the sight of the formidable Illyrian — completely asleep with the cat and dog snuggled against him. His head was tipped back, his glasses slightly askew, and he was snoring lightly. Elain felt herself falling for him even harder than she thought possible. 

With Azriel sound asleep, she decided to make some fresh flatbread that she and the twins had been working to perfect over the past few weeks. While the bread baked, Elain admired that his home was exactly what she would have pictured: tidy and minimal, but well-appointed with warm touches and comfortable furniture. She guessed the books and decorative items had been collected from his years of travel, and she wanted to spend her lifetime hearing about his adventures — and making stories of their own together.

The smell must have woken Azriel, and he padded barefoot into the kitchen with his cohorts on his heels. His hair was disheveled from sleep, his sweater slightly rumpled. Elain had set the table, even preparing food for Rufus and Wisp, who happily began eating from their bowls side by side. 

“You didn’t have to do all this, El,” he said as she slipped off her flour-dusted apron.

“I wanted to,” she said, hoping he’d hear the sincerity in her voice.

As she was about to scoop soup into his bowl, Azriel’s hand shot out and he grabbed her wrist gently. He looked almost  _nervous?_

“Please let me serve you.” He cleared his throat. “Now it’s my turn to insist.”

Elain sat and allowed him to portion out their meals, and Azriel sighed at the aroma.  _Hadn’t Feyre mentioned something once about how much Rhys liked soup?_ _Maybe it was an Illyrian thing._

As they ate, Elain curled her feet up under her and described the books she’d picked up. She also got a deep, rumbling laugh from Azriel when she pulled out the headache tonic from her bag, the sound warming her through more than the soup.

After lunch they spent the rest of the day together on his couch in front of a crackling fire, Azriel alternating between napping and reading the books Elain had brought. She played with Wisp and worked on her garden plans in her sketchbook. It had been such a peaceful afternoon, she hadn’t even noticed the sun had set until the only light in the room was the warm glow cast by the dancing flames.

They had slowly moved closer on the couch as the day went on. Elain was now cuddled against Azriel, her head against his shoulder, reading a novel she’d taken from his chest while he dozed. Rufus was curled up in front of the fire, with his new shadow Wisp tucked into a small ball on his back.

Pressed against Azriel, she was having trouble concentrating. Every touch sent sparks coursing through her veins. Elain was pulled from her thoughts when she felt Azriel stir beside her. She frowned as she glanced up from her book and saw Azriel rubbing his temple.

“Here, let me do that for you,” she said in a near-whisper. Before she could change her mind, she slid onto his lap so their faces were a breath apart. 

Slowly, she reached up and removed his glasses. She was close enough that she could see flecks of gold in his wide-open hazel eyes. It was only when Elain realized that Azriel didn’t seem to be breathing that she parted her lips and released an exhale of her own. 

With one hand, she cupped the side of his face and with the other began gently massaging his temple. Azriel let out a quiet moan and closed his eyes. 

“That feels so good, El,” he rasped. 

“I’m guessing you never let Cassian do this?” she asked with mischief in her voice.

Azriel opened one eye to give her a playful stare. “I have not.” She opened her mouth, but before she could speak, he said, “Not Rhys either.” She bit her lip to hold back a giggle.

He closed his eyes again as she continued to work her thumbs over the chiseled planes of his face to relieve the tension from his headache. _Meanwhile my_ own  _pressure is building_ , she mused while admiring the stubble on his strong jawline. When she swept her hands to his hairline, his hands slid up to rest on the sides of her hips. 

Sensing that Azriel had let his guard down, Elain began running her fingers through his hair — something she’d wanted to do countless times before. It was as silky and thick as she’d imagined, and her heart soared at the intimacy he allowed. He gave a deep sigh and relaxed into the couch, resting his head along the pillows. It wasn’t long before his brow relaxed, and his breathing evened.

Elain had never seen Azriel this way. He appeared boyish even — freed from the worries of his work and the trauma of his past. She ached thinking how rare this sort of peace might be for him. She wanted to be someone who could help him find it. That his happiness brought her happiness too. 

As Elain made to shift her weight so not to wake him, Azriel reached out and touched her arm. “Will— would you stay, Ellie?”

She nodded her head, and they wordlessly repositioned until she was laying flush against him. They both faced the fire, his arms wrapped around her and his legs tangled with hers. Elain had expected to be a bundle of nerves, but she was surprised to find herself so at ease in his embrace.  _This feels_ right, she realized. She wondered if he was still awake, but the quiet of the moment gave her courage to bring up something that had been on her mind. 

“Az?”

“Hmm?”

“Did you always know what you wanted to be when you grew up?”

He let out a soft chuckle at her question. “When you say _grown up_ , you seem to forget I’ve participated in an annual snowball fight for over 500 years.”

“Ah yes, and you’re the reigning champ too if I recall correctly,” she said, a note of pride in her voice. After a pause, she tried again. “But how did you know … how you wanted to spend your immortality? To make your life meaningful?”

She felt his chest rise behind her as he took a deep breath, considering. It was one of things she loved about Azriel — that he was a male of few words, but each one was carefully chosen and never wasted.

“When I was a boy, I was given no choice in my fate. I lived in darkness for a very long time, and nearly drown in my hopelessness. That was until I started seeing what I perceived as my curse as my gift.”

As he spoke, he extended his arm in front of them, her fingers entwined with his. He allowed his shadows to swirl around their wrists, dancing across her knuckles and kissing her fingertips. 

“I think that’s part of what has drawn me to you. Instead of allowing your ability to consume and control you, you’re learning to see it as it truly is — your gift.

“After I met Rhys and Cassian, I knew I wanted to use my power to serve and protect this court. But recently I’ve realized there’s more to life than duty and honor. I’ve always had the Court of Dreamers, but a dream for myself has been missing all these centuries. Loving someone openly with complete abandon. Fearlessly.”

“Az, anyone would be lucky to be loved by you.”

His normally deep, assured voice came out in barely a whisper. “I don’t want it to be just anyone.” 

At that, Elain shifted to turn around in his arms, her hands resting on his firm chest. She wasn’t sure where this was going, but she could also see the exhaustion in his eyes. Or was it something else?

She reached up to brush a lock of hair from his forehead. “I should let you get some rest,” she whispered.

He made a small sniffling sound, a wordless admission of defeat by the need for sleep — which coming from the fierce male made her fight a smile.

“There’s something I’ve been meaning to tell you for a long time,” he said.

Elain stopped breathing.

“Chapter 55 was in fact a doozy.”

Elain tipped back her head and laughed. “You scoundrel!” she said with a playful swat to his arm. But then tilted her head to look at him, adding in a low voice, “I know, right?”

He rewarded her with a deep laugh. “Thank you for everything by the way,” he said quietly.

Elain bent up to kiss her best friend on the cheek. “Anything for you, Az. Sleep well.” She snuggled into him with her head against his chest.

“I will, Ellie,” he said, resting his chin in the soft curls on top of her head.

The last thing Elain remembered was a giant wing draping over her. And she slipped into dreams to the sound of popping embers, nestled in the warmth of his arms.


	3. Chapter 3

“You’ve, ah, got a little something _there_.”

Azriel tried not to grin as Elain stared back at him with doe-eyed curiosity, having no idea a sip of hot chocolate had given her a whipped cream mustache.

 _Is there anything she could do I_ wouldn’t  _find adorable?_

Shit.  _Cassian can never know how soft I’ve gone._

Winter weather had forced Azriel and Elain’s café dates inside, where they now sat at a cozy table tucked away in a quiet corner. Rufus was making his usual rounds, stopping at each table to greet his friends for ear scratches and exclamations of what a good boy he was.

When the waitress had stopped by, Elain insisted it was perfect cocoa weather and ordered two before Azriel could object. He hadn’t had it since Rhys’s mother used to make it for him and his brothers after particularly brutal training days. Stirring the dark chocolate swirled with sugar and cream brought back fond memories that hadn’t stirred in his soul in centuries. Elain had a way of bringing a sense of wonder into his life he’d thought long gone.

“I’ve got what _where?”_  she asked.

Azriel tried not to stare at the foam resting on top of her full lips, yet he couldn’t keep himself from imagining how it would feel to slowly kiss it off.

Knowing she’d be embarrassed by her less-than-graceful appearance, he took a deep drink — giving himself a twin mustache. He could feel his cheeks twitching in an effort to keep a straight face.

Her eyes grew wide with realization, and she slowly reached a hand up to touch an elegant finger to the edge of her mouth. Her cheeks flushed pink, and she swept her tongue over her top lip to remove the offending cream.

She hadn’t done it in a seductive way, but what it did to him…

And the fact she had that effect without even _trying_ made him shift in his chair.

“You’ve still got yours,” she said quietly. Elain tipped out of her seat and reached across the table to hold his chin and graze her thumb against his lips. They locked eyes, and time stilled for a held breath before Elain seemed to realize herself. In a quick movement, she sat back down and sucked the tip of her thumb. Her cheeks burned even hotter.

Azriel had been having trouble keeping his emotions in check since he’d asked her to stay over that perfect autumn evening. She’d slept in his arms until morning, but nothing more had happened. Still, it had been more intimate than any other night he’d spent in the company of a female. Ever since then, things had been different between them — they seemed to have crossed a line into something more than friendship, but what they were to each other still wasn’t clear.

He’d contemplated countless times how he might tell Elain of his feelings but could never work up the courage. He scoffed that an Illyrian warrior, one who’d gone into violent battles knowing he might not walk off the killing fields, was scared to tell a female he loved her. He’d never done it once in his long life. Yet he recalled his words to her that night — his heart’s deepest desire to love without fear. 

Azriel glanced out the window, noting the storm clouds gathering off the eastern mountains. Velaris would likely have a deep covering of snow by morning. The shop keeper stood on a ladder outside, hanging fresh sprigs of pine over the café’s wooden sign. That sparked an idea in his head: _Solstice_ _._ He would ask Elain to accompany him to Solstice as his date.

He looked back to her, a sweet smile peeking over the rim of her mug. The idea that he could ruin their friendship terrified him, so hopefully if didn’t she feel the same way she would interpret it as an offer to go as friends.

Just as Azriel was about to open his mouth, Rufus trotted over to their table.

“Are you ready to go, handsome?” Elain asked with affection. She turned to Azriel, her bright eyes sparkling. “We’re going to do some Solstice shopping and check on the progress of the park down by the town house. What are you up to today?”

At the mention of Solstice, Azriel steeled himself to try again but Rufus had already shot towards the door.

“I should have known better than to mention the word ‘p-a-r-k,’” she said with a laugh. Elain scooped up her things but before she hurried off, she stopped. “Az, were you about to say something?”

He felt his resolve crumbling. “No, you go ahead. Be careful though; it looks like it could snow, and I don’t want you and Rufus caught out in it.”

“Always so thoughtful,” she said, dipping to peck him on the cheek. Rufus gave an impatient bark. “See you later, Az.”

Azriel raised a hand in farewell and watched them dash out the door.

. . .

Changing out of his leathers and into his favorite sweater — that still smelled of Elain — Azriel dropped into a deep leather arm chair. Wisp promptly climbed onto his lap and proceeded to knead invisible dough.

After his morning at the café with Elain, he’d spent a considerably less pleasant afternoon in strategy meetings with Rhys, Cassian and obstinate Illyrian camp lords. Hoping to calm his mind, he reached for the Seraphim novel — his second time re-reading it — to settle in for a quiet night.

Azriel pulled out his bookmark and surreptitiously skimmed the pages forward, wondering how much further he had to go until chapter 55. “Don’t judge me,” he said to Wisp, who’d given him a knowing look before closing her leaf-green eyes.

_Gods, I’m home alone talking to a cat._

Azriel heaved a sigh and realized there was someone else he wanted to talk to, who was always on his mind. What had happened to make such a solitary figure desperate for her company? That had made him offer to share his secret place so many months ago, and that it had become _their_ place? Before Elain, Azriel enjoyed being alone. But now, any time spent away from her just felt lonely.

Azriel looked out the window, noticing that darkness was falling and snow had begun to cover the ground. He wondered if Elain might want to join him to make popcorn over the fire so he could hear her talk about her day of Solstice shopping. It would be the perfect opportunity to casually ask her to be his date.

 _Um_ , _speaking of Solstice, Ellie_ …

_No, no._

_So, El, about Solstice…_

As if he’d summoned her, he heard a sound at the door. More accurately, a pawing.

Depositing the purring puddle of black fur onto the couch, Azriel ran his fingers through his hair and ruffled his wings to shake out his nerves as he strode to the door. A smile broke out across his face as he swung open the door to find Rufus.

“Hello there,” he said, bending down to give the dog a friendly ruffle. But as Azriel glanced around, expecting to find Elain close in tow, Rufus suddenly pulled away.

“Elain?” At her name the dog began whimpering a high keening sound, as if willing Azriel to understand. He’d never heard Rufus so agitated, and his blood ran cold. Something was wrong. Horribly wrong.

“Stay,” Azriel commanded, running back inside to throw on the boots he’d shucked just inside the door. As he frantically dressed, grabbing his heavy coat, he tried to clear his head. His first instinct was to winnow through the shadows to her house, but he didn’t know where she was. She could be there or the House of Wind or the river estate gardens or the Palaces. She could be _anywhere_ _._

“Take me to her.” Rufus broke out in a run and Azriel sprinted after him. They wound through the cobblestone streets, never slowing or paying heed to the curious glances thrown at the massive Illyrian chasing after a giant shaggy dog. Further and further they ran, over endless hills through the city, snaking around the Sidra until finally they passed the town house. _The park!_ he realized.

As they rounded the corner and entered the grassy lot, Azriel began to call for her. “Elain!” he yelled over the wind. He could hear the panic in his own voice, and anxiety flooded him. _If anything happened to her…_

Rufus barked as they came upon a large oak tree, and Azriel’s heart dropped into his stomach. He could just make out a small heap on the ground, unmoving and gathering snow. “ELAIN!”

Skidding to a stop in front of her, Azriel knelt down and gently rolled her onto her back. The tips of Elain’s pointed ears were blue. Her eyes were closed, and she wasn’t moving. Rufus began to whine and restlessly pace.

“Ellie? Ellie, please wake up. _Please_ ,” Azriel begged, his low voice cracking under the strain. She gave a small moan, and he felt his breath whoosh out of him. Tearing off his coat, he wrapped up Elain and scooped her into his arms.

“You too, buddy,” he said with a grunt, hoisting Rufus up, as well. And they slipped away into the shadows.

. . .

Moments later, they appeared in Elain’s living room. Azriel turned on several faelights, removed her sodden cloak and gently laid her on the sofa, covering her with a quilt. She quietly stirred, and he could see her eyes flickering beneath her lids. He’d seen her have visions before and knew it was next to impossible to bring her back into the present until they released her. She had come so far in controlling them, but sometimes a powerful vision was still able to crash over her like a tidal wave. He said a silent prayer she would never be swept out to sea and lost to them.

Seeming to realize she was shivering, Rufus crawled onto the blanket and nestled close beside her. Azriel turned to start a fire and soon felt the room begin to warm as logs blazed in the grate.

Elain was breathing peacefully now, the steady rhythm of her rising and falling chest barely soothing the ache in his.

He thought to occupy himself while she rested to keep his worried thoughts at bay. As he walked towards the kitchen to put on a kettle, he stopped and took in the room around him. Even though he’d been helping with renovations, he was struck by how everything had come together — how it felt distinctly Elain.

Vases of fresh winter-blooming flowers gave off a fragrant smell, and cheerful plants lined the windowsills. The upholstered furniture looked well cared for, but loved and lived in. He noticed each piece could accommodate wings so her family would always feel at home.

Everywhere he looked were memories. Of their paint fight when they’d redone the quaint dining room, of collapsing on the floor laughing when they'd refinished the original hardwoods that were now covered in homey rugs. Of hanging frames filled with pressed flowers, old maps and paintings by Feyre of Velaris, her father’s house in the mortal lands and their family.

He’d put so much time into helping Elain but had loved every minute together. That’s how it always was with her. Azriel was reserved by nature, always shying away from forced interactions. But with Elain, it was never work.

An image he hadn’t seen before caught his eye. In the center of all the others, there was a gilded frame that had been expertly carved into a swirling pattern, almost exactly like his shadows. Behind the glass was a painting of him and Elain. He didn’t need to see a recreation to remember the moment, for it had been forever etched into his mind: it was when he’d given Truth-Teller to Elain. Spring colors and blooms burst behind her, as shadows and darkness prowled over his shoulder. Light and dark coming together. They were bridged by the blade, but that wasn’t their only connection. The painting was clearly from Feyre’s perspective, but she had perfectly captured the faith in his eyes that met the trust in Elain’s.

“Az?”

Immediately pulled out of his reverie, he rushed to Elain’s side. Rufus nudged his nose against her neck and crawled off the sofa to collapse onto his bed, exhausted from the ordeal but clearly satisfied his lady was out of the woods.

Kneeling beside her, Azriel reached up to push a fallen curl off her forehead. “Elain?”

Her eyes fluttered open. “You came for me.”

Azriel broke into a smile of relief. “Of course I did. I’d do anything for you, El. But I would have never found you without Rufus — he’s quite special, isn’t he?”

“I’m very fortunate to have so many doting males in my life,” she teased. They sat for a while in silence, taking in the nearness of each other and knowing she was safe.

“What happened today, Ellie? When I saw you lying there—,” his voice broke off.

“It was the most powerful vision I’ve ever had. It felt so _real_. One second I was walking with Rufus, but the next the edges began to blur. I only remember saying your name before I slipped into another time and place.”

“Do you remember the vision? Was it urgent, anything we need to notify the court of?”

Color began to rush back to her face, sending pink to the tips of her ears. “No, nothing like that. It was … personal in nature.”

Azriel clutched her smooth hands into his. “Ellie, I thought— for an awful moment, I thought I had lost you.” He rested his head on her stomach as a wave of residual terror washed over him, replaying in his mind what could have been. She slipped a hand out of his and ran it through his hair, the gesture instantly calming him.

He had to tell her, or he would never forgive himself. “I need to tell you how I feel about you.” Azriel felt her still beneath him as if she were holding her breath.

“And how is that?” she whispered.

Azriel looked up to meet her caramel-colored eyes and swallowed. “That I’ve fallen for you. That I’ve fallen _in_ love with you. And it terrified me. But what scared me more was the thought of losing you. And that you might never know how loved you are in this world.”

“Az,” she said, tears welling up in her eyes.

“I want to love fearlessly, Elain. And you give me the strength to do that.”

She smiled as tears streamed down her cheeks. “I’ve been trying to find a way to make my life count for something. I want nothing more than my immortality to have meaning because I was loved by you, which is the greatest honor I can imagine. There won’t be enough lifetimes to hold all the love I have in my heart for you, my Azriel.”

He gathered her face in his hands and pulled her towards him. His eyes asked if this was what she wanted, and her lips answered. She kissed him, tangling her fingers in the hair at the back of his neck, pulling him closer. It was soft and gentle and like no kiss he’d ever been given. It wasn’t an empty, lustful act of someone only looking for physical gratification. It was an offering, a timid but hopeful gift.

“My heart is yours if you’ll have it,” she said quietly.

He couldn’t believe this female returned his affection.

“I’m not sure you can trust me with your heart when you clearly shouldn’t trust me with a paintbrush. Did you know there’s a drop of paint on the floor?”

Elain only laughed before pulling him back into her embrace, her warm lips meeting his. 

. . .

**_Epilogue: Elain’s Vision_ **

_It was a picture-perfect spring day — her favorite season. Cherry blossoms were in full bloom, dusting the park in a blanket of soft pink petals. Elain looked down to smooth her dress and bent to give Rufus a kiss._

_“Go on, love,” she whispered. “Go to Az.”_

_Elain watched the giant shaggy dog trot ahead, only stopping once to glance back at her. His normally pink and wagging tongue was nowhere to be seen though, as he held a small silk pillow in his mouth. He seemed to understand the importance of his role to deliver the two bands of gold secured to the cushion with a delicate ribbon._

_Rufus passed through a gathering of friends from across Prythian, seated in rows of white chairs. Looking past her beloved dog, Elain saw her family — all standing under a gazebo covered in climbing flowers — waiting for her. Her sisters were lovely in dusty rose gowns, while their mates wore fine gray jackets. Elain was pleasantly surprised to see Wisp perched on Cassian’s shoulder, seemingly fascinated by the leather strap that held back his hair._

_And in the middle, at the end of the aisle, was Azriel._

_Despite her affinity for his gold wireframe glasses and the sweater he wore when they were home just the two of them, he looked heartbreakingly handsome. He wore the dress blacks of his official Illyrian uniform, a decorative leather pauldron adorning one shoulder. He stood tall and proud, his wings perfectly still behind him and his hands folded in front of him. Despite all the people around them, he gave her the stunning smile that was only for her._

_With one hand, Elain reached up to touch the flower crown sitting atop her honey-brown hair that had been braided into a soft coronet. With the other, she clutched a bouquet of wildflowers. She smiled at the male she loved with all her heart, took a step forward and began to walk towards her forever._

**Author's Note:**

> I'm all about Az and Elain on Tumblr @rosehallshadowsinger — let's talk Elriel!


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